Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
My suspicions, confirmed.
There's too many "group homes" in Edmonton to go though. I typed in a google search, and it turns out it was searched 1,800,000 for Edmonton alone. I don't even know if they're allowed to give out information about who's staying there. An alternative plan to searching for my 'friend' was to go to church and ask for my friend to gain enough strength so that they could be on their own again. I tried that once when I last saw them, things didn't turn out that well.
As you might've suspected. My 'friend' never called. I wish I understood the whole 'not asking for help' thing, but I don't. Isn't that what relationships and friendships are for? So that you have people to reach out to when you're in trouble?
I had the oddest dream tonight. It involved clowns, me and the girls owning a house, Christina Agulera and Paula Abdul singing a duet, and the whole cast of "Saved by the Bell". But among all those people, was my friend, the way they were hangin out in high school. I woke up thinking of them, and feeling helpless. How do I fix this?
Once again I ask, how do you help someone that doesn't want to be helped?
As you might've suspected. My 'friend' never called. I wish I understood the whole 'not asking for help' thing, but I don't. Isn't that what relationships and friendships are for? So that you have people to reach out to when you're in trouble?
I had the oddest dream tonight. It involved clowns, me and the girls owning a house, Christina Agulera and Paula Abdul singing a duet, and the whole cast of "Saved by the Bell". But among all those people, was my friend, the way they were hangin out in high school. I woke up thinking of them, and feeling helpless. How do I fix this?
Once again I ask, how do you help someone that doesn't want to be helped?
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
...and on top of it all, I lost my hat!
The day was going well, earlier today. I got up, showered/ate/drank/got to work... and then a friend from my past showed up randomly. A friend I'd been praying for and trying to get back in touch with since I last saw them 3 years ago. And seriously: worst case scenario. This person had their whole future ahead of them. Graduated from a good course, moved out west with promises of a great life. The job is gone because of a significant other. They're livin in a group home and are in and out of jail (3 times now, I think was mentioned). And yet, as much as I want to sympathize, as soon as I started to, the words said back to me were "I'm gonna marry 'set' person". Leads me to realize that life isn't all roses and stuff. The most stable people you'd think, could fall. But I still can't fathom how after the first time in jail, you'd allow yourself to go back two more. How if your significant other is the cause of all your distress, you're still thinking about spending forever with them. And how you could purposly cut EVERYONE you ever knew, out of your life.
With this in mind, and tears in my eyes at the thought, I took the bus back 'home'. I got approached by 2 men, asking for change, but I couldn't even help them out, because I didn't understand 'why'!
I did sneak onto the bus without paying, and when I got off, I lost my hat (left it behind) and it made me think of karma. But it can't just be karma that's the justification for all of this, can it?
With this in mind, and tears in my eyes at the thought, I took the bus back 'home'. I got approached by 2 men, asking for change, but I couldn't even help them out, because I didn't understand 'why'!
I did sneak onto the bus without paying, and when I got off, I lost my hat (left it behind) and it made me think of karma. But it can't just be karma that's the justification for all of this, can it?
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
how much do you care?
The environment? I care? I care enough to have like 20 of those re-usable bags at my house. To walk instead of drive (unless someone offers me a ride, cuz hell, it's cold out now). To recycle my empties ect ect. I care.
About animals? I care enough not to eat the 4 legged ones. Try not to wear things made out of leather, join the PETA craze.... kinda.
My friend Gwyn wore a fur coat the other day. I was never a fan of the style, not my thing, but real fur is just unnecessary regardless of if you dig the style or not, no?
I mean, skinning an animal to wear it? I get that they're dead and you've eaten them and all that great stuff that I'm not into, but it still sounds kinda morbid no?
What I'm getting at: In the Edmonton paper today there was a picture of 2 girls who are my heros. They were staying outside in their underwear with no tops on (hence the friend reference. KIDDING!) and a sign in front of their chest saying "only animals should wear fur". My heros, yes. Effective protest, yes. Would I have done it in -40'? FUK NO!
As much as I love animals and the environment and all, I'd prolly sit at home and write someone a strongly worded email. But I dig them for caring that much. Who disagrees?
About animals? I care enough not to eat the 4 legged ones. Try not to wear things made out of leather, join the PETA craze.... kinda.
My friend Gwyn wore a fur coat the other day. I was never a fan of the style, not my thing, but real fur is just unnecessary regardless of if you dig the style or not, no?
I mean, skinning an animal to wear it? I get that they're dead and you've eaten them and all that great stuff that I'm not into, but it still sounds kinda morbid no?
What I'm getting at: In the Edmonton paper today there was a picture of 2 girls who are my heros. They were staying outside in their underwear with no tops on (hence the friend reference. KIDDING!) and a sign in front of their chest saying "only animals should wear fur". My heros, yes. Effective protest, yes. Would I have done it in -40'? FUK NO!
As much as I love animals and the environment and all, I'd prolly sit at home and write someone a strongly worded email. But I dig them for caring that much. Who disagrees?
For Here.
My trip to Edmonton so far has helped me realized that I am now calling myself a Calgarian. Calgary has become home to me, and that's what I've settled with. That is my home base.
I checked into my hostel and was asked "where you from?" to which I didn't think twice before I replied "Calgary". The next question was "born and raised?" after which I went into the Ontario explanation. Funniest part was that buddy (hot English buddy) asked if I had ever lived in Hinton. That shocked me a bit, cuz he asked as if he knew me. Who knew my 5 wks in Hinton would ever come up in conversation. (I was in the hostel system from the last time I stayed here. Who knew)
But continuing on. I was working my Nintendo promo at W-Ed (found my new fave DSi game, btw, so frustrating) when I went to grab some food. Now if you're from Ontario, you'll know what I'm talking about, but if you're from Alberta, just skip along to the next post cuz you'll roll your eyes. I order some food, tell them it's to stay and thank them, then move aside (I've learned my lesson). Lady behind me puts in her order, and is asked "will that be to stay or for take out today?" to which she does what ALL ONTARIANS DO!
She pauses, looks a bit flustered, waits about 3 seconds, and answers in her default manner "ugh, for here". I smirk a bit, having done that so many times over my last 3 years in AB, and ask her, "are you from Ontario?". She says "yes, Kitchener, how did you know?".
All Ontarians do indeed answer "for here" or "to go" instead of the Alberta way of
"to stay" or "for takeout". And I laugh everytime I hear it. Oh Ontario.
I checked into my hostel and was asked "where you from?" to which I didn't think twice before I replied "Calgary". The next question was "born and raised?" after which I went into the Ontario explanation. Funniest part was that buddy (hot English buddy) asked if I had ever lived in Hinton. That shocked me a bit, cuz he asked as if he knew me. Who knew my 5 wks in Hinton would ever come up in conversation. (I was in the hostel system from the last time I stayed here. Who knew)
But continuing on. I was working my Nintendo promo at W-Ed (found my new fave DSi game, btw, so frustrating) when I went to grab some food. Now if you're from Ontario, you'll know what I'm talking about, but if you're from Alberta, just skip along to the next post cuz you'll roll your eyes. I order some food, tell them it's to stay and thank them, then move aside (I've learned my lesson). Lady behind me puts in her order, and is asked "will that be to stay or for take out today?" to which she does what ALL ONTARIANS DO!
She pauses, looks a bit flustered, waits about 3 seconds, and answers in her default manner "ugh, for here". I smirk a bit, having done that so many times over my last 3 years in AB, and ask her, "are you from Ontario?". She says "yes, Kitchener, how did you know?".
All Ontarians do indeed answer "for here" or "to go" instead of the Alberta way of
"to stay" or "for takeout". And I laugh everytime I hear it. Oh Ontario.
Frustration.
I'm in Edmonton. I called my fantastic roommate Sophie (back in Calgary) earlier today to ask for an address. Her first question "are you crying?"... "no" my response.... "are you sure?" she asks! True story, when I get overly frustrated, I do tend to cry. But not today. Today I was screaming my gutts off.. on anyone and everyone. (Don't worry, I was in the big pervert cargo van -promotion that I'm doing, it's a rental- so it's not like people could hear me much anyway.
I get to this decent hostel here in Edmonton (I'm doing a promotion for Nintendo and therefore will be staying here for the next 3 wks or so) after getting lost like 3 times. I HATE THIS CITY! The staff was super friendly though and the night didn't totally go bad. Well, that's a lie. It went pretty bad. I didn't get to say g'bye to Soph, and now I won't see her till after Xmas. Strike 1. Then I was told I couldn't return materials to the warehouse till after 4. Strike 2. Then I was running late and needed to pack and do more work stuff. Strike 3. At the warehouse, the contact wasn't there and I had to unload the cargo van in freezing weather. Strike 4. And THEN I got lost getting to Edmonton. Strike 5. Yah, overall, not a great day.
Anyway, I couldn't fall asleep too well cuz of the draft from my window. And then I was intrigued by a dirty txt at 1:30am... that continued to 4:30am (that's not the bad time though, haha *wink to my special someone*). I woke up pissy and all and was stuck in traffic trying to get to W-Ed. Then I think I mighta scratched the roof of the rental van. :S Anyway, I had no idea where the set up was on top of everything, and so I was late, and then had no uniform, and currently have a size L mens uniform. Haha, man things are goin my way are they not.
The day was good though. We played some Wii and DSi iby the open doors of the freezing Edmonton air. Then a game frustrated me so much I was playing with it after shift... until I realized that I was late returning the rental van. Ready for the "crying" part?
STRIKE 1: bullshit Edmonton traffic
STRIKE 2: bullshit Edmonton drivers
STRIKE 3: getting to the rental place and begging for directions to Purolator to send a pkg
STRIKE 4: the line-up/no address to send the pkg
STRIKE 5: not being able to find a goddamn gas station!
I was literally yelling at everyone: "Are you fuken serious? You're gonna fuken cut me off? Bullshit fuken blue car! You've got to be fuken kidding me! You're gonna cut me off and then fuken drive 30? Why not just fuken stop? Oh wait, buddy in the next lane over already fuken thought of that!"
"What the fuk kinda radio station is this? Who plays this bullshit? And why isn't my heat working?"
And through all of this yelling and frustration, I realized just how amazingly funny I would be to watch on an episode of THE AMAZING RACE. Seriously, all we gotta do is install a camera in one of my vehicles. Apparently when I'm driving by myself, I'm fuken nuts!
I get to this decent hostel here in Edmonton (I'm doing a promotion for Nintendo and therefore will be staying here for the next 3 wks or so) after getting lost like 3 times. I HATE THIS CITY! The staff was super friendly though and the night didn't totally go bad. Well, that's a lie. It went pretty bad. I didn't get to say g'bye to Soph, and now I won't see her till after Xmas. Strike 1. Then I was told I couldn't return materials to the warehouse till after 4. Strike 2. Then I was running late and needed to pack and do more work stuff. Strike 3. At the warehouse, the contact wasn't there and I had to unload the cargo van in freezing weather. Strike 4. And THEN I got lost getting to Edmonton. Strike 5. Yah, overall, not a great day.
Anyway, I couldn't fall asleep too well cuz of the draft from my window. And then I was intrigued by a dirty txt at 1:30am... that continued to 4:30am (that's not the bad time though, haha *wink to my special someone*). I woke up pissy and all and was stuck in traffic trying to get to W-Ed. Then I think I mighta scratched the roof of the rental van. :S Anyway, I had no idea where the set up was on top of everything, and so I was late, and then had no uniform, and currently have a size L mens uniform. Haha, man things are goin my way are they not.
The day was good though. We played some Wii and DSi iby the open doors of the freezing Edmonton air. Then a game frustrated me so much I was playing with it after shift... until I realized that I was late returning the rental van. Ready for the "crying" part?
STRIKE 1: bullshit Edmonton traffic
STRIKE 2: bullshit Edmonton drivers
STRIKE 3: getting to the rental place and begging for directions to Purolator to send a pkg
STRIKE 4: the line-up/no address to send the pkg
STRIKE 5: not being able to find a goddamn gas station!
I was literally yelling at everyone: "Are you fuken serious? You're gonna fuken cut me off? Bullshit fuken blue car! You've got to be fuken kidding me! You're gonna cut me off and then fuken drive 30? Why not just fuken stop? Oh wait, buddy in the next lane over already fuken thought of that!"
"What the fuk kinda radio station is this? Who plays this bullshit? And why isn't my heat working?"
And through all of this yelling and frustration, I realized just how amazingly funny I would be to watch on an episode of THE AMAZING RACE. Seriously, all we gotta do is install a camera in one of my vehicles. Apparently when I'm driving by myself, I'm fuken nuts!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
1am CTrain Ride.
Today I ran... not a sprint kind of a run... but a little more than a like jog, lets say... either way, enough to get me to sit for 10minutes afterward trying to catch my breath (I super suck at running).
Ranchmans does it to me ever time. Every fuken time I have to run for that Heritage Park Ctrain, and everytime I end up missing it and crying about it, or getting a ride with an old guy, or making a pathetic phone call to my roommates, or walking home. Boohoo me. But it happens.
Not today... I ran.... 2 minutes on (well maybe like 1min and 10sec) and like 4 minutes off, but I did it... and as the train pulled into the station, i tried to run the last stretch, up the escalator (so slowly though, i was done) and down the stairs (trying not to roll the whole way down)... .but i got there... first and prolly only time. Anyway, not the point of the story.
As I was sitting there resting from my unanticipated "moving" after having dranken a bit that night, I closed my eyes and listened to the bullshit conversation going on on the train. There was some old drunk guy just going on and on talking to himself and anyone that would listen. Talking about absolutely nothing, and repeating "I could skate circles around you" to random people.
2 stops later, 3 girls got on. Dressed night-club-esque. The guy looks up at them and says "hey ladies, you having a good night?". I guess one of them rolled their eyes at him and answered "it's not bad". To which drunken old fool said "the reason you guys aren't having a good night, is cuz you're all fat!". Haha, this caused ruccus on the train for the next 3 stops. A number of men stood u ready to fight this guy.. they threatened to throw him out, ect ect. Hillarious.
Buddy gets off the train. 3 new guys get on. Comment right away "that broad ain't wearing any shoes" says guy #1. "I can't wait till they all stop wearing pants and do it Lady Gaga styles" says guy #2. Then they proceed to sit down beside me and talk about random things, including how i'm being a loser and "blogging" while on the Ctrain. Those guys also got the address of my blog, so hopefully they're not too drunk to not remember it, and hit me up to say hi.
And to think. I coulda gotten into a car with a drunk driver tonight and died. But, if riding the Ctrain is my consolation prize. I'll take it. Hillarious!
Ranchmans does it to me ever time. Every fuken time I have to run for that Heritage Park Ctrain, and everytime I end up missing it and crying about it, or getting a ride with an old guy, or making a pathetic phone call to my roommates, or walking home. Boohoo me. But it happens.
Not today... I ran.... 2 minutes on (well maybe like 1min and 10sec) and like 4 minutes off, but I did it... and as the train pulled into the station, i tried to run the last stretch, up the escalator (so slowly though, i was done) and down the stairs (trying not to roll the whole way down)... .but i got there... first and prolly only time. Anyway, not the point of the story.
As I was sitting there resting from my unanticipated "moving" after having dranken a bit that night, I closed my eyes and listened to the bullshit conversation going on on the train. There was some old drunk guy just going on and on talking to himself and anyone that would listen. Talking about absolutely nothing, and repeating "I could skate circles around you" to random people.
2 stops later, 3 girls got on. Dressed night-club-esque. The guy looks up at them and says "hey ladies, you having a good night?". I guess one of them rolled their eyes at him and answered "it's not bad". To which drunken old fool said "the reason you guys aren't having a good night, is cuz you're all fat!". Haha, this caused ruccus on the train for the next 3 stops. A number of men stood u ready to fight this guy.. they threatened to throw him out, ect ect. Hillarious.
Buddy gets off the train. 3 new guys get on. Comment right away "that broad ain't wearing any shoes" says guy #1. "I can't wait till they all stop wearing pants and do it Lady Gaga styles" says guy #2. Then they proceed to sit down beside me and talk about random things, including how i'm being a loser and "blogging" while on the Ctrain. Those guys also got the address of my blog, so hopefully they're not too drunk to not remember it, and hit me up to say hi.
And to think. I coulda gotten into a car with a drunk driver tonight and died. But, if riding the Ctrain is my consolation prize. I'll take it. Hillarious!
Classy.
Today I filled in on a liquor sampling shift for my friend Gwyn. It's not a bad job to have. You hang out at a liquor store all the day with the liquor store staff. Shoot the shit, and get paid good money to ask people if they want to try a sample, while looking cute.
I took the "looking cute" thing a bit too far today. You see, I'm one of the "guys" kinda girls. I don't often dress girly or act all nice and flirtatious and shit... but I thought that I could wear my boots to a 5 hours shirt... (fine, it was 4.5 hours... but there was a walk to/from the CTrain involved).
Anyway.. I make it through the shift (sitting periodically, when there was no one in the store)... but was not about to go dancing (country dancing... I like to do that once in a while) afterward. Luckally, I had a feeling I'd my feet would be feeling this way... and so I brought back ups.
Punchline of the story is what I said to my new friends at set liquor store...
"you know how I know I'm classy?" "I wear a super cute outfit, and fishnets, but then put on skater shoes!"
ON YEAH... I rock.
Whatever, I looked cute at the bar.
I took the "looking cute" thing a bit too far today. You see, I'm one of the "guys" kinda girls. I don't often dress girly or act all nice and flirtatious and shit... but I thought that I could wear my boots to a 5 hours shirt... (fine, it was 4.5 hours... but there was a walk to/from the CTrain involved).
Anyway.. I make it through the shift (sitting periodically, when there was no one in the store)... but was not about to go dancing (country dancing... I like to do that once in a while) afterward. Luckally, I had a feeling I'd my feet would be feeling this way... and so I brought back ups.
Punchline of the story is what I said to my new friends at set liquor store...
"you know how I know I'm classy?" "I wear a super cute outfit, and fishnets, but then put on skater shoes!"
ON YEAH... I rock.
Whatever, I looked cute at the bar.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
I'm mean.
I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not a nice person. The thing that most people don't realize it that I'm absolutely aware of the fact that I am not nice, pretty much, fairly often. The other fact that they don't realize it that 1. I either don't care, or 2. I don't feel bad about it.
I wish I felt worse when I'm "not nice" to people, but I really don't. Maybe it's because of the whole "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger", kinda mentality, or just the fact that I'm a heartless bitch, but sometimes, only sometimes, I wish that I could fix it.
I told Sophie the other day that they should invent one of those machines that they use on dogs (those dog collars that zap the dogs when they gets "out of bounds" of their chosen spots) so that every time I say something overly mean that may hurt someones feelings, I get zapped. That would maybe make me be nicer or care more....
But the other question that I have is that if you're a friend of mine, and you're a sensitive person, and when evaluating things, you know I could make you cry, or would make you cry... why are we friends? Why would I be allowed to treat anyone that way without you calling me out on shit? CALL ME OUT ON SHIT. If I'm mean, and you're genuinely offended... let me know! If you do, chances are, I will eventually feel guilty and therefore want to apologize and change! Or at least make me be a little nicer... I don't know how else to fix my meanness... *shrugs*
I wish I felt worse when I'm "not nice" to people, but I really don't. Maybe it's because of the whole "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger", kinda mentality, or just the fact that I'm a heartless bitch, but sometimes, only sometimes, I wish that I could fix it.
I told Sophie the other day that they should invent one of those machines that they use on dogs (those dog collars that zap the dogs when they gets "out of bounds" of their chosen spots) so that every time I say something overly mean that may hurt someones feelings, I get zapped. That would maybe make me be nicer or care more....
But the other question that I have is that if you're a friend of mine, and you're a sensitive person, and when evaluating things, you know I could make you cry, or would make you cry... why are we friends? Why would I be allowed to treat anyone that way without you calling me out on shit? CALL ME OUT ON SHIT. If I'm mean, and you're genuinely offended... let me know! If you do, chances are, I will eventually feel guilty and therefore want to apologize and change! Or at least make me be a little nicer... I don't know how else to fix my meanness... *shrugs*
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Drunken Scategories / Roomies Night
After going out for drinks and wings, we decided to have a girls night in. We continued to drink, and now at a good medium of drink, we play drunken scategories... Now if you haven't ever met my roommates 1, you're missing out, and 2, we all have different personalities and our answers to different questions are hillarious.
As Kate is out for a smoke, and Sophie (after dancing around with Harley went out to join her) I decided to fill the world in on our dimented thoughts on certain topics. For example:
The category is : BAD HABITS and the letter is R... our answers:
Sophie : razerblades
Kate : rum
B! : reaming people out.
Doesn't that define a lot. I guess it does, in a funny, yet not so funny way, yet a hillarious way.
Example number 2.
Category: NICKNAMES... the letter is C. our answers:
Sophie : Cunt-bag
Kate : Cunt
B! : Cubby Bear
and people say I'm the fuken mean one! Shit, this just put something in perspective eh? I had "cupcake" (c/o Ellen back in the day) written down, but I thought that was too obvious, so I decided to change it, but little did I know that they would've turned the other way and chosen mean names... I just can't think that name is alright... Whether in Scotland/Ireland/England or Canada... it's just okay to me... I will prolly always chose the gushy route (believe it or not).
So as we continue to play drunken Scategories, hanging out laughing together and finding out what kinda stuff this game really reveals, I'll laugh about these answers for a while. Good random night during the week!
As Kate is out for a smoke, and Sophie (after dancing around with Harley went out to join her) I decided to fill the world in on our dimented thoughts on certain topics. For example:
The category is : BAD HABITS and the letter is R... our answers:
Sophie : razerblades
Kate : rum
B! : reaming people out.
Doesn't that define a lot. I guess it does, in a funny, yet not so funny way, yet a hillarious way.
Example number 2.
Category: NICKNAMES... the letter is C. our answers:
Sophie : Cunt-bag
Kate : Cunt
B! : Cubby Bear
and people say I'm the fuken mean one! Shit, this just put something in perspective eh? I had "cupcake" (c/o Ellen back in the day) written down, but I thought that was too obvious, so I decided to change it, but little did I know that they would've turned the other way and chosen mean names... I just can't think that name is alright... Whether in Scotland/Ireland/England or Canada... it's just okay to me... I will prolly always chose the gushy route (believe it or not).
So as we continue to play drunken Scategories, hanging out laughing together and finding out what kinda stuff this game really reveals, I'll laugh about these answers for a while. Good random night during the week!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
