Is Silence Golden?

A person I don’t recall, had told me recently, that I talk too much. Moment of reflection: yes, I do like to speak; true, I rarely have anything intelligent to say; and yet, I was unaware that I was irritating. Regardless, I said “Challenge Accepted” and vowed to go out this Halloween as a Mime. 24hours of using my sub-par acting skills to showcase my meaningless thoughts, rather than speaking them. A fairly amusing evening awaited.

Sleeping alone, the first part of the challenge went fairly well, as no one could call me out on talking in my sleep, or even prove that it happened at all. Midnight-10am, accomplished. Breakfast and tv watching was also a cakewalk: one roomie left the house, I waved goodbye; the other came home, I waved hello; easy as pie. But it was only after an hour of watching tv in silence, with my white painted face, that the roomie noticed it was acting out of the ordinary, and clued into my challenge. 3hours later, she was bored of having me not speak and tired of guessing what I was saying. *Mime shrugs* People came over to hang out, rolled their eyes at my get-up and silent drinking, and eventually we went to my favorite bar.

My personality, allows me to take a joke and almost encourages that I be on the receiving end of one. So I have to give props to those that make fun of me that night. My waitresses (who have memorized my order months ago) props for asking “what did you want to drink?, 1 what?, you want a beer?”. Props to the friends and randoms who would ask: “what? You have nothing to say?”, "why so quiet over there?". And even props to the roomie for comparing me to Lassie with that mocking baby voice asking “tell me… what is it girl?"! *Sigh* at least silence doesn’t allow me to be mean, and didn’t do any jumping jacks that night!

After the bar, I found myself at a houseparty with my 2010 Halloween crew. Lady GaGa, LL Cool J, Ceaser, Bond, and a random mime, with ½ older persons to the right, and ½ younger persons to my left. Pft, I could mingle as a mime! I made friends with the older folk: I had M&M catch me like a fish on a line only to reel me in then throw me back. And the younger folk were awesome also: Avril Lavigne and Mario took me to the basement to steal their mom’s jello shots.
But the defining moment of the night when you knew I've had enough to drink was when I pulled a boy onto the dancefloor and he started doing a table dance instead. I mimed giving him money while sitting on the floor, and then proceeded to take off his sock and swing it around my head. That’s when he kicked me in the head and I fell backward in embarrassment and agony. Now guys, I know not everyone likes clowns, and a mime is another stupid version of them, but knocking me out, is that really the answer?

At the end of the night, it seemed like everyone just wanted me to talk, but sadly, I still had nothing important to say.

Did she just say that?

A blast from the past, and Ontario, came to visit and hang out for a bit. This girlicious friend I used to live with, is the girl that will go out with you and drink and dance all night. And thanks to random nights out with her, I have 11 more numbers to get before my "numbers game" could officially continue.

While at my favorite bar with a cute boy I know, for my own amusement, I told him to go up to my female friend and tell her an awesome pick-up line.

The line: Hey, How do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled or fertelized?
Girlicious: Oh, I'll take em any way you make em baby
Boy: For real?
Girlicious: Yeah, I love when a man cooks for me
Boy: So would you like them scrambled or fertelized?
Girlicious: Scrambled, over-easy, poached, whichever, as long as I get breakfast!
Boy: Haha, I give up.
Girlicious: Oh are you talking about sex? I don't want a baby... but a little sperm up there never hurt anyone!

That was two drinks in. I'll let you use your imagination as to where the night escaladed from there. How do you not love her?

Thanks, That Just Made My Day

Today I got diagnosed for skin cancer by a hearing aid practitioner who knows because she "googled" it.

Now for those who know me, you know I don't "believe" in doctors. I mean, I believe that they exist, they have to be super smart, and they apparently make a shitload of money. But as far as my health (amongst other things) goes, I'm more of a "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" kinda person.
With that being said, when I went hiking a few summers back and fell of the mountain to fuk up my ankle, it may as well have been broken, and yet, I refused to see a doctor. The reasons? 'Glad you asked'. First off, refer to the last blog about "waiting". I've had enough bad experiences with offices that I'm done with it. Especially if the advice they give me at the end of the day is "don't walk on it". 2nd off, I'm a firm believer in the fact that advil and whiskey can cure more than people let on, and therefore, unless I'm in dire pain, I prefer to just wait it out.

Furthermore, I think of doctors a lot like I think of religious leaders. They only tell you what you can't/shouldn't do. Don't sleep around. Don't drink. I'm young enough to enjoy life, and I really don't want to be lectured on all the things I shouldn't be doing. Who's that band that sang "if it feels good do it... even if you shouldn't... don't let doctors bring you down"?

But at the end of my work day today, I got bluntly told that I have skin cancer. Well thanks to the non-experts out there, I'll take your opinion into consieration. But as far as a real doctor is concerned, unless he's super sexy making me so infatuated that I can't wait to go into his clinic and wait hours on end just to see him and take my clothes off in front of him, I'm just gonna pass. Thanks though, hearing I'm gonna die just made my day. *rolls eyes*

Waiting

There are very few things in life that I hate more than waiting. I’ve never had much tolerance to just sit around and wait for something. Back in my concert going days, I never stood in line to get into a show. I would get there when everyone was already in, even if it meant missing the first act. I would bud in line or make friends with a door guy who could get me in via the back. But standing in line and just waiting, is not what I did.

Even now, I can’t stand the concept of waiting. It just blows my mind. There is always something better you could be doing instead. That’s why airports frustrate me so much. There’s so much time to kill when you’re there, and it seems like you’re just sitting around wishing something would happen.

It’s funny how my deep hatred for the act of waiting has anger flooding through me as I write this. And even so, as I write this, I’m waiting for a boy to show up. A boy, who is out doing things rather than just sitting around. And on the other end of that spectrum, I’m trying to think of things to do while I kill time waiting for him.

Numerous words come to mind to describe my actions. But none of them are of a positive nature.

...too bad feelings get in the way...

On an episode of "Saved by the Bell", Zack said "I love school, too bad classes get in the way". That's my opinion of school as well. Thinking back on the years during which I went to college,I remember good times and good friends. Classes were indeed an inconvenience that took time out of my drinking and socializing schedule. Eventually class (aside from the 1 or 2 that I enjoyed) became a place that you could meet up with friends, to hang out when it was done. "Will you be at stats?, sweet, wanna grab breakfast after?"

I feel simularly about life. "Life is awesome, too bad feelings get in the way".
I thought I grew accustomed to life and the feelings and fights it had in store for me, but I was wrong. I only grew accustomed to other people's feelings. Other people would get upset with me or angry at what I said. Anything that directly involved me was only a "tiff" that you'd roll your eyes and it would pass. (I don't like those strong emotions) But I think for the first time in my life, I now have to acknowledge that I do indeed have feelings... but only when it comes to one person. I feel the joy and sadness that doesn't only come from attending a punk-rock concert. But subsequently, I also shed tears that aren't ones involving me cross-legged-and-drunk on a kitchen floor.

I'm not sure I've wrapped my head around this whole feelings thing yet. I think that avoiding it my whole life has worked out great so far. The most pain I'd feel, was that from the jumping-jacks I'd have to do for having hurt your feelings. And even now, I don't care what you think of me. Just this one person. How'd he manage to get in anyway?

Tears in my Eyes

Does anyone remember my post about gatorade being like McDonalds arches? One of my better posts I think. The point of it was, that after a night of drinking, the crawl out of bed to grab a beverage to quench your thirst in the morning, is a difficult one. This is my story:

My numbers game is back on. I need to get another 28 (penalty) phone numbers before the game could re-start. Then I need to catch up on the weeks I've overlooked. Not an easy task, but one I'm up for. Therefore, I've decided that hanging out at bars is the easiest way to do so, and my beloved "power hour" (an hour of hardcore drinking at my favorite bar) is the highlight of my uneventful days.

Yesterday's power hour was fun, as I introduced my new friend "FireKracker" to it, and in true awesome form, she went for the gold. 3 vodka-sodas, 3 long islands, 3 shots of tequila, and 2 vodka-redbulls later, the hour was over. *dual meaning* Hahaha. But I kept up (mostly), drinking well and having fun.

The point: Though I slept in till noon, as I've not nowhere to be, the motivation to get out of bed, put on some clothes *damn cold house* and wander upstairs to pee/hydrate ended in disappointment, as when I opened my fridge door neither my gatorade nor my sunny-dee was anywhere to be found. Talk about putting tears in my eyes first thing in the morning.

Alone in the house I could scream all I want, simultaneously wishing I could smash stuff. But that doesn't bring my gatorade back.

Indifference.

I found that I'm growing to dislike people more.
I work along-side them and purposly walk to the other side of the display. Away from the meaningless stupid conversations. I don't want to hear your stories. I don't want to share any of mine with you.

For the first time in my life, I think I prefer silence.
My own thoughts will keep me company. And I'm not even thinking of anything that important.
Oh 12hr shifts.

Life is a Disappointment

I don't actually believe these words that I write.
I don't believe that the guyfriend would intentionally try to hurt me or that I won't overcome the not-so-awesome days I've been having.

I went to my favorite place in the world recently, the mountans that make me smile no matter what mood I'm in.
I still cried more than I should have...*shrugs* but at least I did so in a beautiful place.

More-than-halfway Update

Km's driven: 2,707 km

States crossed: 2.5

McDonalds meals eaten: 4

Energy drinks dranken: 3.5

Cd's listened to: 21

Nights spelt in car: 2

Hitchhikers NOT picked up: 2

I left late on day 1 (3pm) and therefore ended up in MooseJaw, SK for the night with no exciting stories to tell, or much to show for it. As punishement, I slept in the car.

On day 2, I successfully became a fugitive on the run when I crossed into the US border via Northern Dakota, but then decided to go check out the State Fair that was taking place... 3 hours killed - driving catch-up required. As punishment, I slept in the car.

This morning I got up with a new motivation. I stopped minimally (only in Chippewa Falls were Jack Dawson from Titanic was originally from) and drove the fuk out of my day (Did Minnesota, and 1/2 of Wisconsin). I got into Milwaukee at about 6, searched for the internet until 7:30, and found a motel by 9). Tomorrow's plan: Warped Tour and 4hrs of driving (as a reward).

Random things seen: a guy on a motorcycle driving 110km without a helmet... rebel!

So many obese people at McD's, note to self, vomit.

Many many mullets.

At least I amuse Myself.

Roadtrip update: pretty much uneventful. Thanks for checking out the blog peoples.

Alright alright, I'll update you on the most important stuff. Yesterday I drove the Canadian leg, through AB into SK and spent the night in MooseJaw. Uneventful.

This afternoon I crossed over into North Dakota, successfully claiming my fugitive title, since I am technically fleeing the country with that whole warrent out for my arrest. The guy at the border did give me a hard time, but not about the warrent, instead, about me being refused access to the states a few years back. Apparently, that's on my record also now. I tried to only minimally roll my eyes when I explained to him that I was 19 and trying to get into the states to see a punk rock show, that I did very little research on. It didn't help that I was the first person crossing that day, and that no one ever uses that border crossing, as it was via backroads.

Whatever, he eventually let me in, and I celebrated to myself, until I realized I didn't exchange any money *rolls eyes* About 4 years ago I got stuck in the States for a long time because no banks in Ohio would exchange Canadian money for me. They all eventually sent me to Kentucky, and all I really wanted was gas. At the Kentucky airport (which was the only alternative apparently) I was only able to exchange money if I had a boarding pass and so this game of me being stranded continued. Needless to say, I didn't want a repeat of this, so the money thing made me paranoid... but it's solved now.

North Dakota started out exciting enough, the towns a little different from the Canadian side. But soon, it just began to resemble Saskatchewan. Now I love SK when I'm on a trip with the roomie, and not pressed for time, because I'll do random stuff... but let's be realistic, no one wants to drive through prairies by themselves.

The solution: Let's just say that I girl can't have any more fun than driving down a road at a high speed on cruise control, the wind messing up her hair and some punk rock song blaring the speakers off her shitty ass car... wearing a short skirt, with a toy in between her legs. You suddenly get an appreciation for the straight and boring roads, realizing that you only have to stay in between the lines. And there's not even any cars around, so there's no worries of downshifting or changing lanes. It was a good afternoon!

That's all you get for right now people, as I'm sitting at an empty "visitor center" which has wireless randomly and need to get a move on to the next state!