this feeling.

I detest daytime hours when i' feeling this way.
I want to crawl into a corner and die. a dark corner, not this one filled with light shining through my windows.
I put my makeup on darker than usual today, wore mainly black clothes.
But the expression on my face would say more than anything else I do.
Me? I'm distraught.

And so I sit and wish for night to fall. Hoping it will bring darkness and a sense of solitude.
A dark solitude in which I could be miserable for a while.
But that's just today, I hope.

Maybe tomorrow, I'll find a way to fix my new found issues.
Maybe I'll feel less resentment, and be overwhelmed with forgiveness.
Maybe we could meet in the middle, and continue life together.

Or maybe I'll continue feeling like all degrees of hell, wanting to jump in the river and just stop trying.