Backstory: I'm not athletic at all. I could get to the peak of a mountain if I have a flask of JD with me, and no time-limit, but that's about as far as it goes. I'm not a runner (once I learned I can't outrun a bullet, or a bully, I stopped trying). Swimming is limited to: a) with a lifejacket b) in a hot tub c)when I dive into the pool and need to get to the ladder. And, after high school, I decided that I don't want to do any physical activity without getting paid for it. Yet somehow, CityChase sounded like a great idea to me.
A roommate of mine, and my partner in crime for the race has a bit of a better track record. She goes hiking often, has taken outdoor rec in school. She's trained for the RCMP in the last year, and has seen the inside of a gym in the last decade. But being sick on the weekend of the race (and having called into work the day before), we were in for one hell of a day.
"What have we gotten ourselves into" is the thought running through our heads as we leave the house in the morning. I'm wearing jeans, and she has some expensive sandals on. Our backpacks hold anything and everything: winter gloves, a flashlight, 3 energy drinks, clean underwear, and so we're off on our journey. 2 guys on the ctrain let us know we're in over our heads just by looking at them. They're dressed in their gear and look hardcore in their sunglasses. I could look hardcore too had I not registered the day before, or picked up our stuff. But after registering, and changing our team-name from "The Lakecomers" to "The Jack'ettes'", we eat some breakfast and point out "hey, at least we didn't bring a purse". We ignore the opening "warm up/stretching" exercises... amatures, and paranoia sets in when the announcer starts talking about a clue sheet that we don't possess. The strategy: make an alliance with some 40 year old ladies and just follow them all day.
The race begins: We run east along the Bow River in Eau Claire for about 3 minutes with the mass of people. Then we run out of breath and walk. We get to the clue sheet, read while walking to the C-Train and decide we're either headed to the Science Center or Kensington, depending on whichever train comes next. Kensington it is. We're in the cab reading clues outloud, and then meet our "alliance". A team called the "Keep it Simple Sisters" equipped with friends helping them on the other end, and a blackberry for all the secret info. Score!
Challenge 1: Running, reading maps and finding flags to spell a secret word. Those challenge fukers even thought ahead to create more than 1 map, more than 1 word, so that we couldn't cheat.Whatever, at least we know how to spell. Our word was "Check". Moving on.Challenge 2: Wheelchair basketball. Wheelchairs, backwards, through pylons. Then score some baskets (without travelling... odd) and play a 2 on 1 game. Hilariousness, we're so gonna join a league! Challenge 3 involved paining bones overtop my skin at the science center Yeah, I looked ghey the whole day, but I wasn't the one that was gonna be naming them, so I decided to go with it.
Being moderately good at one activity, our next stop was Chinook, where we climbed up a rock climbing wall in no time at all, and after bowling with some wooden kart thing (stupidest activity of them all) we were on our way back downtown. But as we waited for a train, some teams told us of a park with 2 more challenges, we took off running again. At this point in time, we realized that our "alliance" were in much better shape than us. They could run, and we felt like we were holding them back. We let them go ahead and said we'd meet for a beer after. Then came Challenge 6: Frisbee golf. Chucking a Frisbee at a tree and having a penalty if you have to throw x-amount more than the alloted times. The penalty (like a harder pushup) sucked, so we cheated our way through it, and went on to our next and favorite challenge. It was a spider web type deal that we had to climb through, and though I got a bit dizzy, and got a wedgie, it was awesome.
I learned to play blackjack at the casino, saving my partner in crime from eating bulls balls. We rode a bus down 17th with about 80 more participants. Sang with strangers in a car at the top of our lungs, and stabbed potatoes while quoting unknown people, before heading back to the finish line. And out of 550 teams, we came in 146th!
After finishing the race and beaming with pride, I got some ice cream and went for a leisurely kayak down the river, hopped on the shuttle bus and went to the afterparty, where I stayed true to my detox and hung out with my partner in crime and the "alliance". Life is an adventure, and I wish I had more days like these. Days were you do things without thinking twice about them. Hell, I would've eaten a cricket, played with a teranchela, done some pole dancing, chained myself to a girl, or run up 52 fights of stairs. Next year I'll beat 11 challenges, or 146th place. Are you up for the challenge?
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