Dependencies

Talking of my detox, got me to thinking about dependencies. We really do brainwash ourselves into thinking we need something, when we could live perfectly well without it. Honestly, giving up anything you love, or even, have grown accustomed to, is a challenge; but eventually, you need to challenge yourself "just cuz" and when you do, why would you cheat, if you'd only be disappointing yourself?

I think it's funny what you realize you're addicted to something. Alcohol, drugs, assholes. Those are the main ones. But even the little things like lying, driving, routine...

It just makes me think about how easy it is to change things, but no one feels it necessary until it's borderline too late. You don't remember what it's like to wake up not-hungover. You think working an 8hr day without a joint is impossible. You don't know why you feel guilty cuz of him, but you do. You bury yourself in your lies, hoping to not get found out. ect ect.

But hey, I've acknowledged that I don't need Jack. But I'll still go out and drink, so maybe I'm a hypocrite for even writing these thoughts.