Withdrawl

I don't think people in general, realize how much of their lives is spent going through withdrawl. If our days are made up of routine, consistency, familiarity then as soon as one factor changes, we tend to go into a state of withdrawl to compensate for it.

If you work a 9-5 job, and suddenly lose it, what will you possibly do to fill those 8 hours of your day. 40 hours of your week that need to be occupied with something, anything in order to keep you from going stir crazy. I don't have a job, and this is something I still have to come to terms with. I wake up, make breakfast, and do the dishes just to have something to do. Then I flip flop between reading books and watching movies until anything better comes along. Sometimes I strive to be pro-active and find a gig, but usually, I just vedge.

And it's the same with a lot of things. Think of your New Years Resolution, it's simple, just DON'T eat that bag of chips. You'll go through the motions, you'll reach for it and then deny yourself of it; but you will also spend time thinking about it, and wanting to cheat.

The biggest thing I need to learn how to withdraw from is my relationships. It's kind of a big deal to have someone in my life every day, and then suddenly not have them around. I remeniss of the past, I imagine a fabricated future, but then I come to terms that it is JUST ME that will always be consistant. Who I am, and who I want to be. (I've been watching One Tree Hill, and that themesong still gets to me)

I've been reading a book on addiction, and subsequently thought I would stop drinking for a few weeks. As much as you could miss a substance like alcohol, the bigger part of "not drinking" is missing the routine of going with your friends to the bar, that's always hard. But it's made me think how much of life's activities are based around addiction. Even a simple thing like going to the gym turns into something that people NEED to do in order to feel complete at the end of the day, and it truly makes you realize that there is always a chance for anything activity to turn into "Too Much of a Good Thing". That's where dependancy kicks in, the big bullying brother of addiction, and no one wants to go there.

We all deal with our withdrawls each day, same as we do our struggles and make different decisions. I guess one thing holds true throughout. You take it one day at a time.