Is Silence Golden?

A person I don’t recall, had told me recently, that I talk too much. Moment of reflection: yes, I do like to speak; true, I rarely have anything intelligent to say; and yet, I was unaware that I was irritating. Regardless, I said “Challenge Accepted” and vowed to go out this Halloween as a Mime. 24hours of using my sub-par acting skills to showcase my meaningless thoughts, rather than speaking them. A fairly amusing evening awaited.

Sleeping alone, the first part of the challenge went fairly well, as no one could call me out on talking in my sleep, or even prove that it happened at all. Midnight-10am, accomplished. Breakfast and tv watching was also a cakewalk: one roomie left the house, I waved goodbye; the other came home, I waved hello; easy as pie. But it was only after an hour of watching tv in silence, with my white painted face, that the roomie noticed it was acting out of the ordinary, and clued into my challenge. 3hours later, she was bored of having me not speak and tired of guessing what I was saying. *Mime shrugs* People came over to hang out, rolled their eyes at my get-up and silent drinking, and eventually we went to my favorite bar.

My personality, allows me to take a joke and almost encourages that I be on the receiving end of one. So I have to give props to those that make fun of me that night. My waitresses (who have memorized my order months ago) props for asking “what did you want to drink?, 1 what?, you want a beer?”. Props to the friends and randoms who would ask: “what? You have nothing to say?”, "why so quiet over there?". And even props to the roomie for comparing me to Lassie with that mocking baby voice asking “tell me… what is it girl?"! *Sigh* at least silence doesn’t allow me to be mean, and didn’t do any jumping jacks that night!

After the bar, I found myself at a houseparty with my 2010 Halloween crew. Lady GaGa, LL Cool J, Ceaser, Bond, and a random mime, with ½ older persons to the right, and ½ younger persons to my left. Pft, I could mingle as a mime! I made friends with the older folk: I had M&M catch me like a fish on a line only to reel me in then throw me back. And the younger folk were awesome also: Avril Lavigne and Mario took me to the basement to steal their mom’s jello shots.
But the defining moment of the night when you knew I've had enough to drink was when I pulled a boy onto the dancefloor and he started doing a table dance instead. I mimed giving him money while sitting on the floor, and then proceeded to take off his sock and swing it around my head. That’s when he kicked me in the head and I fell backward in embarrassment and agony. Now guys, I know not everyone likes clowns, and a mime is another stupid version of them, but knocking me out, is that really the answer?

At the end of the night, it seemed like everyone just wanted me to talk, but sadly, I still had nothing important to say.

Did she just say that?

A blast from the past, and Ontario, came to visit and hang out for a bit. This girlicious friend I used to live with, is the girl that will go out with you and drink and dance all night. And thanks to random nights out with her, I have 11 more numbers to get before my "numbers game" could officially continue.

While at my favorite bar with a cute boy I know, for my own amusement, I told him to go up to my female friend and tell her an awesome pick-up line.

The line: Hey, How do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled or fertelized?
Girlicious: Oh, I'll take em any way you make em baby
Boy: For real?
Girlicious: Yeah, I love when a man cooks for me
Boy: So would you like them scrambled or fertelized?
Girlicious: Scrambled, over-easy, poached, whichever, as long as I get breakfast!
Boy: Haha, I give up.
Girlicious: Oh are you talking about sex? I don't want a baby... but a little sperm up there never hurt anyone!

That was two drinks in. I'll let you use your imagination as to where the night escaladed from there. How do you not love her?

Thanks, That Just Made My Day

Today I got diagnosed for skin cancer by a hearing aid practitioner who knows because she "googled" it.

Now for those who know me, you know I don't "believe" in doctors. I mean, I believe that they exist, they have to be super smart, and they apparently make a shitload of money. But as far as my health (amongst other things) goes, I'm more of a "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" kinda person.
With that being said, when I went hiking a few summers back and fell of the mountain to fuk up my ankle, it may as well have been broken, and yet, I refused to see a doctor. The reasons? 'Glad you asked'. First off, refer to the last blog about "waiting". I've had enough bad experiences with offices that I'm done with it. Especially if the advice they give me at the end of the day is "don't walk on it". 2nd off, I'm a firm believer in the fact that advil and whiskey can cure more than people let on, and therefore, unless I'm in dire pain, I prefer to just wait it out.

Furthermore, I think of doctors a lot like I think of religious leaders. They only tell you what you can't/shouldn't do. Don't sleep around. Don't drink. I'm young enough to enjoy life, and I really don't want to be lectured on all the things I shouldn't be doing. Who's that band that sang "if it feels good do it... even if you shouldn't... don't let doctors bring you down"?

But at the end of my work day today, I got bluntly told that I have skin cancer. Well thanks to the non-experts out there, I'll take your opinion into consieration. But as far as a real doctor is concerned, unless he's super sexy making me so infatuated that I can't wait to go into his clinic and wait hours on end just to see him and take my clothes off in front of him, I'm just gonna pass. Thanks though, hearing I'm gonna die just made my day. *rolls eyes*

Waiting

There are very few things in life that I hate more than waiting. I’ve never had much tolerance to just sit around and wait for something. Back in my concert going days, I never stood in line to get into a show. I would get there when everyone was already in, even if it meant missing the first act. I would bud in line or make friends with a door guy who could get me in via the back. But standing in line and just waiting, is not what I did.

Even now, I can’t stand the concept of waiting. It just blows my mind. There is always something better you could be doing instead. That’s why airports frustrate me so much. There’s so much time to kill when you’re there, and it seems like you’re just sitting around wishing something would happen.

It’s funny how my deep hatred for the act of waiting has anger flooding through me as I write this. And even so, as I write this, I’m waiting for a boy to show up. A boy, who is out doing things rather than just sitting around. And on the other end of that spectrum, I’m trying to think of things to do while I kill time waiting for him.

Numerous words come to mind to describe my actions. But none of them are of a positive nature.