WTF?!?

I don't even have a BF and I'm apparently "clingy"

good luck to the guy that does eventually go out with me!

That's MY type of Christmas.

The beginning:
3:30 - finish work
3:40 - bus #1 to the hostel
4:15 - get to the hostel to pick up my luggage
4:45 - bus #2 to the south of Edmonton
5:30 - bus #3 further south in Edmonton
6:00 - bus #4 ANYWHERE need highway 2.
6:20- hitchhiking adventure officially begins
6:25 - i get picked up by a rad guy named Joe and his bitchy wife Megan who starts to interrogate me as to why I'm thumbing it with the most disapproving tones in her voice and subtle arguements with the hubby
7:00 - I part with car#1 and am left alongside a dark dark highway singing to myself and dancing trying to stay warm, hoping I get a ride
7:45 - a man driving from Fort Mac picks me up
10:00 - finally get to Calgary and meet up with Kate.

Christmas Eve
10:02 - jellow shots begin
10:25 - Christmas nachos!
10:45 - we start decorating the outside of the house.... looks so ghetto! (btw)
11:20 - more drinks / break
12:00am - take out the already decorated xmas tree from the box
12:20 - 4am - drinks!
4am - drinks, & AnnaB passes out...

Christmas Day
10:30am - AnnaB gets out to rock out to xmas music / clean
11:00 - Kate gets up
12:00 - breakfast shots!
12:20 - Christmas Omelette
1:00 - 3:00 - Christmas fireplace drinking game
3:30 - Gwyn comes to join in the Christmas fun
4:00 - AnnaB passes out
7:30 - Kate wakes AnnaB up to go to Christmas dinner
8:30 - 12:00am - Christmas dinner at BabyMamaNicoles w Ryder and fam!
12am - 4am - AnnaB & Gwyn do more fireplace drinking
4am - 8am - BestBuy promo
8-9am - lay down

Post-Christmas-Day
9-1pm - Drive to Edmonton
1pm - 7pm - Nintendo Wii Promo
8pm - HUNGOVER DEATH!

i think i might need a hug

I'm over the job. Haha. That's not true. I adore playing video games for a living, but today was one of those days where the littlest things got to me. The bitchy people at the mall. The crowds, the inconsiderate kids... I miss being in Calgary, although I adore the hostel, I feel like it's time to just go home and get on with it.

And then on top of all these little things bothering me, I thought about a few people I absolutely adore, and how most of them have not sent me "love" over the holiday season.
Boyfriend#1: I had a brief conversation with. He made me smile and made me laugh, and kinda made my whole holiday... even though we only talked about technical computer stuff cuz I needed advice. He sounded happy to hear from me. But I had to call him. Sadness.
Boyfriend#2: I was gonna play hard to get and not txt/call him at all. But after work today I gave it and thought I'd give him a shout. He was busy doing something and we didn't chat long. He asked where I was though 'Edmonton' was not the answer he wanted to hear. He sounded good and told me he had txt'd me before to say thanks and such. I guess I shouldn't just automatically hold a grudge. But the brief conversation made me miss him more.
Boyfriend#3: I know he's not in school. I hope he's doing well. I called and txt'd and always hope he's online, but I've heard nothing. I left him a voicemail today (yes, gave in and called that one too) and he should give me a shout since he got 2 cards instead of one! How much do you want to bet he doesn't.
Boyfriend#4: If I could chose anyone that I could be with forever, right now, I'd chose him. But aside from opening my cards early and making minimal effort in the past weeks, I've heard nothing from him over the holidays. This one I'm not budging on (yet), he should want to talk to me, obviously even if feelings go both ways, actions do not.
Boyfriend#5.MyFiance: I know he got the card, he mentioned that. I've heard nothing. Do boys have shorter attention spans because they're overseas? Sadness once more.

I just want to hear from the people I love most. No games and all that bullshit, but friendship does work both ways. And I feel like I've put forth the holiday effort.
At least I get to see Sophie in 2 days. She doesn't have to tell me she loves me. I just know.

Tippytoes.

Opening Nintendo is a good time. I get to the mall, hang out for a couple hours in the morning drinking some hot chocolate and eating my donut before it gets busy.... it's good. It's chill. But fuk man, these Edmonton Creepsters are starting to piss me off.

I was playin the new Mario the other day with some old guy cuz he requested specifically to try it out. Since no one was around, I played about 15min's with him, then excused myself and went to the other side of the Nintendo booth. He comes up to me 5 minutes later, brushes my elbow and says "I'd love to play with you later". Creeeeeeepy.

This morning I opened up again, and low and behold, guess who came over to ASK ME OUT. Are you fuken kidding me. Long story short, I'm not comfortable with people touching my elbow anymore and my supervisor Mike thinks it's beyond creepy, and yet kinda funny.

So we came up with the codeword TIPPYTOES. Doesn't matter what game you're playing just say TIPPYTOES as loud as you can and someone will be sure to come help you. Too bad Breanne (the girl I opened with) wasn't aware of the codeword. I coulda been telling the guy to play Mario Brothers on one foot and tippytoes and I still wouldn't'a gotten saved. There may be creepsters in Calgary, but at least they don't come up to me and ask me out!

the Nintendo thing.

So I love the job, really. And I think my boss Mike is an amazing guy. He's got a great attitude, amazing sence of sarcasm, and we could bitch about stuff and laugh about stuff whenever we're together. His friend Dave is even more-so hillarious. He's this big black guy with a deep voice and it's awesome to watch him talk to kids and get them to play the Wii. But his censor button is a little shifted.

Hillarious comments from Dave while working Nintendo:

-This huge creepster guy comes over and starts looking at me playing Super Mario Brothers (think taller and bigger than my brother, but just as creepy and silent). Dave says "hey dude, this is the new Super Mario Brothers, did you want to give it a try?".. The guy stays silent for a bit and than answers "no, I just like to watch". Dave looks over again, and asks "Oh yeah? Other people? Like from windows and stuff?" (I'm laughing my head off), the Creepy guy stays silent, stone faced as if he didn't hear anything. Dave says "that's cool man, I like to do that too", laughing and nudging him... again the Creepy guy says nothing (I'm starting to laugh I'm crying so hard.

-Dave is playing the sword fighting game on the Wii Sports Resort. A guy walks by and stops to check out what he's so into. Dave looks back and says "Just sword fighting, you wanna give it a go?" to which the guy responds "sure, I'll give it a shot". Dave gives him the controller and explains the game, then asks "Do you like a little fight first thing in the morning?", to which the guy says "I guess so". Then Dave says, "well, you're a lot like my dad then". To this I started laughing and crying so hard I had to pause my game and walk away. Haha.

It's cool being at a hostel and when people ask why I'm here I could answer "I play Nintendo for a living this month" and it's actually true. It is in fact the best job you could ever have, simply based on the fact that we haven't been able to think up one that's any better. But with my debts piling up and me not being able to live at home, I'm getting frustrated because (as bad as this may sound) I'm not used to NOT being favoured. Mike is a very fair boss and gives everyone decent hours, but somehow I almost feel like I'm owed something more for coming from Calgary. That's not true and deep down I know that, but on the not-deep-down part of things, I just wanna stomp my feet and throw a tamper tantrum!

So sick of it....

I haven't been this close to calling myself "depressed" since I've worked with Todd all summer. I hate being broke and the whole "money worries" song comes to mind. I feel like I should almost give up the lax'd job of playing video games, and just settle down to make some real money. But then I usually snap out of it.

But times like this, when I'm broke beyond belief and am almost forced to give up my 'job' to just crawl into a hole in the corner of my bedroom and hope for a paycheque.. I'm not okay with this. Lesson learned: I should probably stop buying things and wait to be "reimbursed" for it. It's always like that. Also the paying double rent, never served anyone well...

Enough of that rant. Basically, as much as I could cross my fingers for some money to basically appear in my bank account or mailbox, it's not working. And then I find out other people at work are getting more hours while I'm planning to hitchhike back to Calgary, and that rubs me the wrong way. After which, I go to the grocery store to buy "Mr. Noodles", yah that's right the pathetic life of a college kid 3 years later, only to lose my slipper on the way "home". Yes, I left the hostel again to wander the street of Edmonton in search for my slipper like a lost, depressed Cinderella.

I came up with one theory on this walk though. That pedestrians should also gets "horns" like cars have. (Think those old school silver and black horns that used to go on bikes). They wouldn't be practical, unless you attached them to everyone's shoes somehow. Then if you stomped a certain way, they would "honk". I just think that some drivers are inconsiderate douchebags, but not just to other drives, to pedestrians also... and so, pedestrians should have another alternative to yelling and flipping the birds... as drivers do... PEDESTRIAN HORNS are in order.

That's right. Today I'm pissed off at being broke!

never thought it would happen...

I get up every morning at 7:45, and am out of my room at 8:30. I set my stuff down in the same booth (mostly) and make myself the same cup of hot chocolate, and breakfast. Then at 8:40, I take a walk, and at 8:50 I'm on the same bus that takes me to West Ed Mall. I pay the same amount, sit in the same seat, and have the same bus driver that stops at the same convenience store to get a cup of coffee each day. And after playing Nintendo for a few hours, I take my usual bus home, walk back to the hostel, and sit at the computer for a bit before I pass out.

I never thought I'd fall into a regular, repeated schedule, but HAHA. I might as well have a 9-5 job. But hey, can't complain about playing Nintendo for the rest of the year!

Random Gibberish

The Leafs: Why is it that evey time I watch a goddamn Leafs game, the team fuken sucks and they make me disappointed to ever be raised in Ontario. The goalie's all rolling on the ground, and then they pull him all together, just to get more goals scored against them. I'm totally not impressed with them, not that I ever was. But with 3 years of me being away, and being discouraged with the Flames as well, I might as well start rooting for Vancouver, at least they got the "warm" weather going for them.

Wings: 1st off... It sucks when you come to the realization that you can't eat 20 wings by yourself, and don't have any friends to help you out. Such is my life. Furthermore, the "Pint" on 109th ave in Edmonton is a dope place, but the "redbull" bbq flavoured wings, don't taste like bbq at all!

Heinekin ads: My new favorite commercials ever. Seriously, the beer can falls off the table top, and his life flashes before his eyes? That's brilliant. I wish I was the one that though of it. It ALMOST beats my m&m commercial.... almost!

My suspicions, confirmed.

There's too many "group homes" in Edmonton to go though. I typed in a google search, and it turns out it was searched 1,800,000 for Edmonton alone. I don't even know if they're allowed to give out information about who's staying there. An alternative plan to searching for my 'friend' was to go to church and ask for my friend to gain enough strength so that they could be on their own again. I tried that once when I last saw them, things didn't turn out that well.

As you might've suspected. My 'friend' never called. I wish I understood the whole 'not asking for help' thing, but I don't. Isn't that what relationships and friendships are for? So that you have people to reach out to when you're in trouble?

I had the oddest dream tonight. It involved clowns, me and the girls owning a house, Christina Agulera and Paula Abdul singing a duet, and the whole cast of "Saved by the Bell". But among all those people, was my friend, the way they were hangin out in high school. I woke up thinking of them, and feeling helpless. How do I fix this?
Once again I ask, how do you help someone that doesn't want to be helped?

...and on top of it all, I lost my hat!

The day was going well, earlier today. I got up, showered/ate/drank/got to work... and then a friend from my past showed up randomly. A friend I'd been praying for and trying to get back in touch with since I last saw them 3 years ago. And seriously: worst case scenario. This person had their whole future ahead of them. Graduated from a good course, moved out west with promises of a great life. The job is gone because of a significant other. They're livin in a group home and are in and out of jail (3 times now, I think was mentioned). And yet, as much as I want to sympathize, as soon as I started to, the words said back to me were "I'm gonna marry 'set' person". Leads me to realize that life isn't all roses and stuff. The most stable people you'd think, could fall. But I still can't fathom how after the first time in jail, you'd allow yourself to go back two more. How if your significant other is the cause of all your distress, you're still thinking about spending forever with them. And how you could purposly cut EVERYONE you ever knew, out of your life.

With this in mind, and tears in my eyes at the thought, I took the bus back 'home'. I got approached by 2 men, asking for change, but I couldn't even help them out, because I didn't understand 'why'!

I did sneak onto the bus without paying, and when I got off, I lost my hat (left it behind) and it made me think of karma. But it can't just be karma that's the justification for all of this, can it?

how much do you care?

The environment? I care? I care enough to have like 20 of those re-usable bags at my house. To walk instead of drive (unless someone offers me a ride, cuz hell, it's cold out now). To recycle my empties ect ect. I care.

About animals? I care enough not to eat the 4 legged ones. Try not to wear things made out of leather, join the PETA craze.... kinda.

My friend Gwyn wore a fur coat the other day. I was never a fan of the style, not my thing, but real fur is just unnecessary regardless of if you dig the style or not, no?
I mean, skinning an animal to wear it? I get that they're dead and you've eaten them and all that great stuff that I'm not into, but it still sounds kinda morbid no?

What I'm getting at: In the Edmonton paper today there was a picture of 2 girls who are my heros. They were staying outside in their underwear with no tops on (hence the friend reference. KIDDING!) and a sign in front of their chest saying "only animals should wear fur". My heros, yes. Effective protest, yes. Would I have done it in -40'? FUK NO!

As much as I love animals and the environment and all, I'd prolly sit at home and write someone a strongly worded email. But I dig them for caring that much. Who disagrees?

For Here.

My trip to Edmonton so far has helped me realized that I am now calling myself a Calgarian. Calgary has become home to me, and that's what I've settled with. That is my home base.

I checked into my hostel and was asked "where you from?" to which I didn't think twice before I replied "Calgary". The next question was "born and raised?" after which I went into the Ontario explanation. Funniest part was that buddy (hot English buddy) asked if I had ever lived in Hinton. That shocked me a bit, cuz he asked as if he knew me. Who knew my 5 wks in Hinton would ever come up in conversation. (I was in the hostel system from the last time I stayed here. Who knew)

But continuing on. I was working my Nintendo promo at W-Ed (found my new fave DSi game, btw, so frustrating) when I went to grab some food. Now if you're from Ontario, you'll know what I'm talking about, but if you're from Alberta, just skip along to the next post cuz you'll roll your eyes. I order some food, tell them it's to stay and thank them, then move aside (I've learned my lesson). Lady behind me puts in her order, and is asked "will that be to stay or for take out today?" to which she does what ALL ONTARIANS DO!

She pauses, looks a bit flustered, waits about 3 seconds, and answers in her default manner "ugh, for here". I smirk a bit, having done that so many times over my last 3 years in AB, and ask her, "are you from Ontario?". She says "yes, Kitchener, how did you know?".
All Ontarians do indeed answer "for here" or "to go" instead of the Alberta way of
"to stay" or "for takeout". And I laugh everytime I hear it. Oh Ontario.

Frustration.

I'm in Edmonton. I called my fantastic roommate Sophie (back in Calgary) earlier today to ask for an address. Her first question "are you crying?"... "no" my response.... "are you sure?" she asks! True story, when I get overly frustrated, I do tend to cry. But not today. Today I was screaming my gutts off.. on anyone and everyone. (Don't worry, I was in the big pervert cargo van -promotion that I'm doing, it's a rental- so it's not like people could hear me much anyway.



I get to this decent hostel here in Edmonton (I'm doing a promotion for Nintendo and therefore will be staying here for the next 3 wks or so) after getting lost like 3 times. I HATE THIS CITY! The staff was super friendly though and the night didn't totally go bad. Well, that's a lie. It went pretty bad. I didn't get to say g'bye to Soph, and now I won't see her till after Xmas. Strike 1. Then I was told I couldn't return materials to the warehouse till after 4. Strike 2. Then I was running late and needed to pack and do more work stuff. Strike 3. At the warehouse, the contact wasn't there and I had to unload the cargo van in freezing weather. Strike 4. And THEN I got lost getting to Edmonton. Strike 5. Yah, overall, not a great day.



Anyway, I couldn't fall asleep too well cuz of the draft from my window. And then I was intrigued by a dirty txt at 1:30am... that continued to 4:30am (that's not the bad time though, haha *wink to my special someone*). I woke up pissy and all and was stuck in traffic trying to get to W-Ed. Then I think I mighta scratched the roof of the rental van. :S Anyway, I had no idea where the set up was on top of everything, and so I was late, and then had no uniform, and currently have a size L mens uniform. Haha, man things are goin my way are they not.



The day was good though. We played some Wii and DSi iby the open doors of the freezing Edmonton air. Then a game frustrated me so much I was playing with it after shift... until I realized that I was late returning the rental van. Ready for the "crying" part?

STRIKE 1: bullshit Edmonton traffic

STRIKE 2: bullshit Edmonton drivers

STRIKE 3: getting to the rental place and begging for directions to Purolator to send a pkg

STRIKE 4: the line-up/no address to send the pkg

STRIKE 5: not being able to find a goddamn gas station!



I was literally yelling at everyone: "Are you fuken serious? You're gonna fuken cut me off? Bullshit fuken blue car! You've got to be fuken kidding me! You're gonna cut me off and then fuken drive 30? Why not just fuken stop? Oh wait, buddy in the next lane over already fuken thought of that!"

"What the fuk kinda radio station is this? Who plays this bullshit? And why isn't my heat working?"

And through all of this yelling and frustration, I realized just how amazingly funny I would be to watch on an episode of THE AMAZING RACE. Seriously, all we gotta do is install a camera in one of my vehicles. Apparently when I'm driving by myself, I'm fuken nuts!