Mustache

So, it is indeed the month of November... and Mo-vember is charity month as people may/may not be aware. In an order to promote mens health and raise money for prostate cancer, men are encouraged to grow mustaches (awesome!)I went out with a friend who finds mustaches hilarious, the other day. And, I could play along, draw on a mustache or what-not, but people's view of what a mustache is seems to be so false these days. A mustache: hair on your upper lip, not on your whole face. For the love of God, people! Handlebars: no, Goatee: no, Beard: no, and Scruff: no! These do not count as mustaches! The reason Mo-vember is awesome is cuz you have to look like a loser participating!
So after many many minutes of arguement, the Mo-vember rules verdict:
The definition of a Moustache:
1. There is to be no joining of the Mo to side burns – That’s a beard.
2. There is to be no joining of the handlebars – That’s a goatee.
3. A small complimentary growth under the bottom lip is allowed (aka a tickler).
Remember, it’s Movember, not ‘Beardvember’ or ‘Goateevember’
c/o the official Mo-vember website! (once again, I'm correct)

I'll Live.

For those of you who have shown overwhelming concern for my well-being (which, realistically speaking, has been none of you - thanks a lot), I was un-diagnosed for skin-cancer by an actual doctor.
It wasn't so much a diagnosis, as a glance at me and the words "nope, that's not cancer" but it has allowed me to get more sleep at night. I no longer have to drink each day in order to feel something. Oh wait, I still do that, and it seems that getting a buzz is becoming more difficult.

Yesterday, I almost Fell. Again.

Embarrassment. I don’t really like to believe in the concept. I mean, what could be so bad that you could be overly self-conscious about? Falling. I don't get embarrassed often, but there's really no graceful way of falling. You can't look cool doing it, or say you did it on purpose... But more embarrassing then falling in front of your friends, is falling in front of the same friends TWICE (what up?).
So, yesterday after an awesome live show and a few cocktails, while walking in my awesome boots, which I'm cursing today, I did a ice-type slide on some asphalt, almost bringing me to a plummeting halt on my ass in the middle of the road. Almost. Even still, that wouldn't have one-up'd the time I fell over my own feet and landed on my face, oh a short 3-weeks-or-so ago alongside the same people. Except that time I was sober.

This whole ordeal (clearly it’s impacted my life drastically) got me to thinking about one of my favorite expressions on peoples’ faces, ever. The look that people get when they see someone fall has to be the one I like to see most (not that I’ll keep falling to see it). Their eyes light up with excitement and you could almost see the insults cultivating themselves within their brain, just waiting to burst out in conjunction with a long stream of laughter. But after a second, that silent-hopeful look embraces a hint of worry, in case the person, having hit the ground with a bang, actually hurt themselves; at which point laughing would just be inconsiderate. Hence the still silence continues with that look of soundless concern/hopefulness. And as soon as the victim looks up from the ground with that nod saying “I’m alright, I’m just a dumbass” everyone exhales their uneasiness and proceeds with the mocking.
I don’t know why I like this look over all others. Maybe it’s the indecisiveness of it all. Or the fact that you know a million things are running through their brains in mere seconds, all while they’re trying not to be insensitive, but not wanting to deny themselves the pleasure of laughter and ridicule. *Shrugs. I’m sure I get that look on my face also.

The Dufus that Sat Next To Me on the Plane

I love vacations. Usually you disembark on an adventure to a new place that you’ve never seen before. You’re anticipating the excitement that awaits you upon arrival at your destination; the new sights, smells, languages and people. And while vacationing, you embrace the opportunity to act differently than you normally would; you flirt a little more, step outside your comfort zone, and kick with those you normally wouldn’t lift a foot for. Vacationing is great… But the annoyance that is life always gives you a downfall. (pft, and I claim to be positive)

After traveling a couple times a year, I still hold firm to the belief that getting from point A to point B is as much the adventure as much as the destination you are trying to reach. But after the allotted traveling time, having dealt with people who’s personalities don’t coincide with yours, and wish you were back in a familiar place so you could finally relax, one idiot always seems to ruin everything.

While in Mexico on a recent vacation, the roomie and I, came across an older gentleman that was out to have a good time. He’d drink excessively, turn loud, and just want to dance. Harmless he was, and rather entertaining for the most part; but like I said, you come to your wits end eventually. As we left our resort to bus it an hour to the airport where we’d have to wait for another 3, before the another 5 spent in-flight, the busload was ready for the long drawn out day, taking an afternoon siesta, most of us… Except for this man. He was ready to serenade the whole bus, asking the bus driver to pull over at a liquor store to buy beers for the bus. How awesome would this’ve been if we were just getting on vacation? Sweet! But totally unnecessary at the farewell.

I was keeping my fingers crossed that he was not seated around me on the plane. I love the guy, but I was finished. With the roomie at the window seat and me in the middle, we were on the plane ½ hr early waiting for that one annoying passenger to get on so we could just get on with it. Normally the passenger you’re waiting for when this happens, is me, because I’m at the bar instead of the plane. But this time, it was the guy who would sit down next to me. Lucky guy is greeted on the plane with a serenade of “boos” (do that to me, I dare yah) then drunk-o sits to my right, in his non-assigned seat. Promptly, I pretended to sleep, then put the headphones in to ignore him. But despite my efforts, I was not so fortunate to be oblivious to his drinking and flirting with the flight attendants, his comments on my choice of beverage, his whining about his head phones not working, or his screaming to his friends further up in the plane. All the while, I just wanted to land and be home. Oh life, you are building up my tolerance level for a reason. My kids are gonna be fuken brats aren’t they?

The Bill

In my opinion, the way people pay their bills, says a lot about their personalities. Excluding your close group of friends (which one would assume offer to pay tabs on a regular basis, with a half-expectation of you “getting the next one” without any hard feelings if you don’t) who’s spending tactics are impeccable, based on the mutual understanding that the other party is not an asshole, you can judge people on how they spend.

Example: You’re out for dinner/appys/drinks with some acquaintances, and the bill comes. The table has agreed that one tab would be sufficient, and everyone could just throw in cash. One could assume that everyone would calculate and pay their own portion, then throw in a bit for the tip. Red flag one: some people are less generous than others with their tips. They actually consider things like waiting longer than usual for food, and argue that the service wasn’t “exceptional”. Others think that the waitress paid enough attention to the table, was personable and friendly, ect.

NOW, tips aside so I could get to the point of this blog: What gets me most after a fun hangout and a couple of drinks, is when, after everyone’s thrown in their portion and the bill is not shorted, the one person who counts out how much of a tip the waitress is getting and argues that she should get less. “We’re tipping 30%, and the service wasn’t that great”. Seriously?!? Everyone has parted ways with their money in whatever fashion, why is it up to this one person to judge how much of a tip one should get. Why is this even a discussion? Should everyone really take back a loonie, as if it’s really going to make a difference?

I looked over at the girlfriend of this boy, who initiated this debate at our table yesterday evening, and asked “you’re the one dating him, does this happen often?” because I was shocked that it had to take place at all.
At my favorite bar, when my friends and I go out, you better believe that the tip is almost 50% of our bill. That’s the way it should be. Otherwise, people should drink at home.

And that’s AnnaB’s opinion on that.