*disclaimer*

What do I envy? I envy honesty, opinionated personalities and no-holding-back-bluntless. I dis-envy those who lack a personality of their own, and need to judge others in order to feel better about themselves.
Asshole type tendancies, along with rude comments and sarcasm amuse me, and I believe my recent phenomenon of making fun of my own lifes downfalls and meaningless events in an exaggerated way can be somewhat amusing to persons other than myself.This is a blog of my own thoughts and unconventional opinions. I encourage you to call me out an anything I write here, however, the blog is not made for you to belittle me, so watch your step. Read at your own risk. -B!



Sunday, January 31, 2010

7 Days of "Nice-ness"

Roughly a week ago, Not-N2 and I went on a hungover walk. During set walk we talked about a lot of stuff, trying to focus on her instead of me, but always straying back to me. After 2 hours of walking and chitchatting, I couldn't help but notice, that my friend kept giving me advice on how to be a better person. And so this challenge came up.

For one week, I will live by a set of 15 rules, that will help me be "Nicer" than what I am (hard to do, right?) and maybe at the end of the week, something will stick and I will be all around better.

The Rules:
1. no sarcasm (fml)
2. must compliment the person I'm talking to, can't use same compliment twice (and it needs to sound genuine... that's the hard part)
3. no swearing (one again, fml)
4. do something nice and unexpected for someone else... each day
5. smile (no matter how hard I try, this one will come across FAKE)
6. Can't be bossy (which I'm totally not!)
7. Play with hair/do hair toss at some point during the conversation
8. Say please & thank you
9. Must give a wink (sidenote: i think this one is beyond ghey, it won't make me any nicer!)
10. Must give a friendly touch
11. Must listen intently, look interested, make eye contact, and ask questions (that's one rule?)
12. Can't talk about myself unless someone asks
13. Can't talk about sex. Sidenote: if sex comes up, I must incorporate this quote: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me" (i know, "nice" right?)
14. Always say yes if a guy offers to buy a drink
15. Speak in a soft manner.

And so I'm sitting here finishing up this blog with a "smile" on my face and the Smurfs themesong running through my head... but I gotta get back to cleaning the house on my hungover Sunday afternoon, as maybe the roomies will find that "nice and unexpected"
...7 days you say...

Fave Quotes!

Yesterday:
Sitting in our living room, a friend of mine tries to pet my kitten Harley. If any of you have met him, he's a lot like me: stand-off-ish and mean. After a 5-sec pet, he tries to bite. Then goes on to bite my friend another 3 times.
Greatest quote ever: "That was mean! You're cat should do like 50 jumping jacks!" Hahaha (read the "That Was Mean" blog to understand!)

Today: Out for a show with BabyMama and her sister (who flew in from ON like 24hrs ago) we were talking about what major ON/AB differences there are. And while talking of the music scene and other "social" aspects of the two provinces... we say "Alberta is so far behind" to which the response is "for sure, at least 2 HOURS".... and that's just funny cuz it's true... but everyone who lives here, knows how long it actually is...

"That was Mean" recap, week 1.

People aren't abusing this function as much as they should (in my opinion).
Yes, the roomies did get me to do some jumping jacks in our kitchen and living room, a couple of times, and the grocery store scene must have been rather amusing with the old gentleman and all the cashiers watching...
but I always thought that more people would be into seeing my "humiliation".
Apparently, different people do find different things "MEAN" and I don't always get called out on all the stuff that I think I should. *shrugs*

"I'm too Old for this Shit!"

Sigh, alright, so for those of you who are close to me, you know that 'not so long ago' Girlie introduced our 'household' to a new tv series, titled "How I met Your Mother"... greatest show ever! And in set show, in one particular episode, they talk of the "Murdoch List" the list of stuff you are TOO OLD TO DO. That is the stuff I will speak of right now.

Tonight, I went out with a couple of friends, to see a rock show at the local campus pub. The band (Down With Webster) was awesome. They rocked out hard, gave a solid performance and I would see them many times over. But as I stood in the back of the crown with my JD&coke in my hand, watching all the "youngins" rock out and squeel when a band member touched their hand, I realized how old I actually was.

As the band came on stage, at the beginning of the night, I took one look at them and said "I bet you I'm fuken older than every single one of the guys in this band" which lead to a bit of a debate, but later on proved to be indeed true. Don't get me wrong, I used to be 18, 20, 22. I used to go to rockshows and take a million photos, hope the band "touched my hand" and pulled me up on stage... but these day's you'll find me in the "mothers corner". I'm the person at the back of the crowd, still singing along, but not getting involved in the moshpit. Still cheers-ing the band but not "raising my hands in the air". And still congradulating them on a good show, but not getting an autograph and picture. In short, I'm old.

And as I put my friends in a cab, and asked very politely for the cab driver to take them home and deal with their drunken jibberish, I got home, to make myself some garlic toast, french fries, cajin chicken and carrots&dip as a 2am snack (it's no hamburger helper, but it'll do) I looked into the hallway mirror, and saw Vicky starring back at me.
(Vicky is a lady in Toronto who was married a rockstar from my favorite band ever. She adored indie music and was super into the 'scene' back in my ON days.) I always assumed I was going to be 'like' her, but today, for the first time ever, that's who I saw. I was dressed in 'scene' clothes and at the correct bar, but amongs the 'youngins' I was trying to "party hard".

My "I'm too old for this shit" List.
-I'm too old to drink tequila & jagger in the same night
-I'm too old to pay for a cab, via change being scrounged from the bottom of my purse
-I'm too old to get kicked out of bars and think it's funny
-I'm too old to get drunk enough to vomit without "seeing it coming"
-I'm too old to drink enough that I forget my address

SIDENOTE:
-I also think I'm too old to "makeout" for 3 hours in any given night

And yet, I still believe I'm young enough to:
-eat ice cream to make a bad day seem better
-watch "Smurfs" and let them brighten up my day
-rhyme
-sit on the floor
-sing childrens camp songs
-skip down the street (note to self, I should do that soon)

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Flask found!

Ginna does have it!
How fuken exciting is that mother fukers? So excited!
Now, I just need to get it back!

The Introduction of "That was Mean!"

New game!
In an effort to make me a nicer person, whenever I'm "mean", whoever is around me needs to point at me with a disapproving look and tell me "that was mean". As a penalty, I will do 10 jumping jacks (and will hopefully throughout the year learn my lesson).
The funny part: I will have to do the jumping jacks wherever I am, be it a Ctrain, a bar, a nightclub, ect. Because it's more fun if I could "learn my lesson" while other people are also getting a laugh out of it. (expiry date at the end of this year)
Let it begin!

Recap:
Rules: you must 1. point 2. give a disapproving look 3. say, "that was mean"
Punishment: 10 jumping jacks / time being "mean" wherever we are at that point in time.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Mission Failed.

I went out on an official mission yesterday to find my favorite red travel mug which I had left at the Palomino a few days back.
Not only did I not find set mug, somewhere during the course of the night, I lost my green "save the earth" one... and as I'm about to set off on a walk to the Ctrain station, I really wish I had me a travel mug.

Mint has never tasted so good.

I broke my rules, and something's gonna happen to punish me in return, I could just feel it. But in my defense, I'be been through a lot tonight... through weird internet talk and a girl touching her non-bf's penis in front of company... through marital spats and men in kilts, along with a 17-yr-old's band playing Blink wannabee tunes.

But now i'm back at home, 5am (talk about me using up my wkends well) just in time to delete some posts in case a boy (who won't remember this website) decides to read up on me. I'll keep most of them up, cuz hey, i got nothin to hide, but that one about me givin oral, that's gotta go, it's common knowledge anyway.

Sidenote: the #'s game really does make me sound like a whore (though it's only talked about to my friends and in the blog, but that's unfortunate). Sigh, ending on a happy note, i break rules cuz I'm a rebel, and mint has never tasted so good, so... no regrets.

... it still shocks me that people even pretend to give me a chance ...

Friday, January 22, 2010

a reason to celebrate!

after weeks and weeks of searching our brains and the house, it miraculously appears today. Not in a random place of any sorts, but at the sink... and in one piece.
Now I know everyone's been concerned right along with me, so I won't keep you in suspense any longer: the big blue mug, has been found.
And if that isn't a reason to celebrate today, then I don't know what is. (P.S. it's also Fri!, and that means a lot for you "real job" people) haha!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Drunk Wed! (aka, Kate's bday)

Continuing on with my efforts on getting x amount of numbers a week (this weeks lucky number is 8), I agreed to go out with Girlie for a couple drinks at BP's and... get this... some magic!

After an unfinished appy, a total of 7 beverages, some balloon animals and a couple card tricks, the night was off to a good start. Note to anyone: a "mushroom" balloon shape with the deperate words of my name and number with the phrase "call me", are not a good pick up line! But if you ever get a chance to grab some flower cream (see any sex-shop for product), man that stuff just brightens up your evening with some giggles.

After swinging by the house with the magician and girlie and saying hey to the roomies, we were off to bake cupcakes and hottub. Favorite part of drunk Wed happened when the magician started bragging about "picking up chicks" at the bar, as Girlie and I kept shooting him down. "hey there, I'm a magician" "that's unfortunate"-my response. "why don't you get a real job"-Girlie, "you actually tell people that?"-me.

And through texting boys from last weeks "numbers" game, boys who like to play "scrabble" (some movie thing, I'm sure it'll make sence when I see it) and a new bartender boy, the drinks were flowing and the night went on.... and so when you pass out at 7am, you have to truely belive that a random Wed night, could indeed turn out to be 'epic'!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Resolution / Joblessness

I've spent the last week of my life a.dancing around the house and b. watching season 4 of "How I met your mother", and although both are good times, I'm getting fuken bored man.

Week one of my resolution failed. Although I went to the Rusty Cage with not-N2, I got no ones numbers and therefore the night wasn't as good as it could have been. I started early this week, to make up for last, going out to wings on Monday and then again to a rock show with Ed on Thursday, but still no success.... until today, kinda.

The losers I "picked up"
I'm kidding, "losers" is a loose term as I know very little about these guys, except that they were willing to give me their phone numbers, and the skirt and attempt at "cleavage" might have helped.

The night started off well when not-N2 and I walked to the C-train, and having missed one minutes before decided to got into SAIT's bar for a shot. After I talked the door guys into not making us pay cover (as a shitty band was playing) we walked up to the bar tender and asked for a shot. After not-N2 rounded off 2 shots, both of which he didn't know how to make, he gave us a "brokendown golfcart" and not-N2's flirtation along with my "not-impressedness" (i believe) got us the shot for free... onward and upward we were on the C-train to the Palomino.

Upon arrival (just after midnite) we found out that there was a "metal" show going on inside and said "HELL NO". We then met up with not-DD and her friend, and went to Stephen to hit up the Unicorn... something about a VIP gig and some wierd guys hitting on us, along with not-N2's work collegues and we were off to the Yardhouse on 17th.

Guy 1: James: not-N2 says he's a douchebag, but he swore he wouldn't sleep with me on the first night... whatever, number!
Guy 2: Russell: geek that showed up to the Ship (my fave bar, i made the girls leave the other place) by himself and works in like bullshit tech stuff at Mount royal... loser, whatever, number.
Guy 3: "Bond" (a guy not-N2 picked up) had a friend who played accoustic and therefore we got him to come over... he tried to get us to go back to his place,... plan failed, whatever, number.

so that's 3/6.... 3 more to go, I got until the end of Sun to do so... also tonite, we lost not-DD's friend for a couple hours cuz the loser guys she was chattin with kidnapped her to the wrong bar (after offering her $1000, ghey ass, and super creepy) and as I predicted at the beginnng of the night not-N2 will prolly end up getting into a vehicle with not-DD.... but I'm no one's mother, right? 'Nite!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

I only have 12min to blog!

Alright, so here's the deal: in the effort to "expand my social circle" and have more stories to tell in 2010, I came up with a resolution that I will get 2 phone numbers a weeks... these could be numbers of males/females, people that i am interested in/would like to go bowling with... but 2 numbers none the less.

Tonight: Not-N2 and I had plans to go out to a local rock bar and meet some people... after she was "making herself pretty" and arrived 50 minutes late!... *sidenote (how long do you wait for someone before they are officially late and you're allowed to be mad at them... I say 20min, unless they txt you... but when I give you and hr and 5min to get ready and you are still 50 min late that's a load of bullshit right? I mean, you can't just take the time frame and multiply it by 2, can you?)

The game: N2 gives me a pickup line that I could use on whomever I want, I do so in return and so the night of random conversation and drunken antics begin....

N2, pickup line 1: "do you come here often"... she said it to the boys sitting next to us (which by the way had already made conversation with me when they told me to "smile, woman!" for a random picture, and then thought I looked mean, lol) to which they answered "no, not really"

AnnaB, pickup line 1: "how hard do you like to rock" spoken to 2 losers standing upstairs just looking at the crowd instead of joining in.... boy said "it's too busy downstairs" i answered, "it's perfect if you like to be the center of attention" he said "then you belong down there" and I said "well, how hard do you like to rock" and he said "not very".... "that's unfortunate" was my response, before I walked away knowing that I made buddys night! haha.

N2, pickup like 2: "nice shoes, you wanna" said to a random short guy, who asked "wanna what" and N2 said " buy me dinner" i don't know the details because it was loud and I stopped listening but LAME!

AnnaB, pickup like 2: "nice bum, where you from?" spoken to a guy at the bar who answered "Canmore" then proceeded to flex (in a longsleeve shirt which I commented on, saying it looked awesome, and he said the stripes make him look bigger) then he introduced me to his friend who's bday it was and I was gonna buy him 3 shots because he just came back from Afganistan after being in enemy territory and walking 28 miles back to the base... ect ect... but he wouldn't let me borrow $20 for the shots, so I walked away

The the boy that I was interested in left the bar asking N2 and I go to back to his place (i refused, it was midnite and i'm a "nice girl") and that was the end of that, but we also used the lines "do you have the time? do you have the energy?", "do you wanna play commando, you lay down and I'll blow you?" and "has anyone ever told you, you're beautiful" making a funfilled night ending in FAILURE!

THAT'S RIGHT, I FAIL.
No numbers, no leads, and an all around wasted "$20" and me having to work in the am...

by the rules
Failed : 2numbers
Pentalty: x2
Next week: 4numbers (owing from previous week) + 2 standard numbers from that week.

I gotta step up my game!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

i give it one more month

....and if I still don't hear from my "fiance" then, ENGAGEMENT OFF!

New Years Resolutions

Today, while wandering, I overheard a conversation spoken by two men. The conversation was of New Years resolutions, and one such guys goals this year were to "lose some weight, buy a porche, and get a girlfriend".

I have New Years Goals... none of which are so blunt, per say, but stuff that needs to be accomplished regardless.

1. DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF (if you've met me, I'm semi animated but it always comes across as anger. I love to yell and cause a bit of a ruccus, a lot of it sounds angry, though it's really not, and all that's good... but I do let the small stuff get to me... NO MORE)
2. Expand my social circle (those close to me know how i'm gonna achieve this... by whoring around, what were you thinking?)
3. Be more like Barney Stinson (once again, those close to me know how this relates to Resolution #2)
4. Go on a hot vaca!
5. Return daddys car (my pimp really doesn't like when I keep his stuff... hahaha!)

and just for traditions sake, I'm gonna add "flirt shamelessly" in here, just because it wasn't achieved last year.

Semi-related-Sidenote:
-Resolution from 2 years ago of not moving back in with my 'rents : TRUE
-Last years resolution of "keep of the travelling" : TRUE
-Staying in touch with friends : still going strong

Crossed off the list:
-Never use work as an excuse : I don't have a job, so no worries
-Dance, often : Not gonna happen, I'm just gonna give it up
-Get others out of trouble instead of the other way around : bored with it, back to the way it was!

The Red Mug (solved), The Flask (continues)

The investigation for the red mug:
backstory: A friend and I went to do a promo, snuck into some VIP tent, and got ourselves red travel mugs. Last time I saw it, it had been in the dishwasher anticipating being cleaned and then used for the next few months on many random adventures with AnnaB... that is until it went missing, for the better part of a month, somewhere in this house of secret hiding spots.
solved: Yesterday actually, when I got up on our turquois chair to find sandwich bags, but instead, pleasently found the mug... Let the winter adventures begin!

The investigation for my flask:
backstory: Christmas of 2008, my favorite person gifted me a flask.
description: it was black, held about 8-9oz, had a silver slanted shield across it with the inscription "home on a Saturday night" (none of your business) on it.
last seen: I had it when I got back from my Europe adventure, 3rd week of October... It could have possibly been used on my drinking over the Halloween weekend (information that just came into play tonight). But the search continues... please comment if you have any information leading to the safe return of set flask.

The Sharing of Friends

"cuz your friends are my friends, and my friends are your friends, the more we get together the happier will be"... song lyrics. Now maybe they sound familiar to you and maybe they don't, and I guess that depends on how close you were to Barney as a kid... and apparently I had a phase when I was close to him (I got over the purple color of his skin, if only for a short while).

Regardless, it's kind of the mentality I live by. I like for my "friends" to know my other "friends", and together we could be a circle of "friends". Now I had a discussion with one such person this evening, and she will remain unnamed (because N2 didn't really sound that cool, and I already have a friend nicknamed A2 and I think he's awesome, so let's not ruin it) about how she collects friends, but doesn't share friends. Now that just sounds selfish right of the bat, does it not?

Haha, with one of my New Years resolutions being to expand my circle of "friends" I am going to make up a rule to my non-sharing "friends". We can exchange friends, if the word "share" doesn't float with anybody.... for every one person I introduce you to, I should get an introduction in return and:

* (asterisks, sidenote) they have to be the same amount of cool. If I introduce you to a person that's say 9/10 on the cool scale, you can't introduce me to some 2/10 loser that has no friends because his lame! That's the new rule, because apparently "N2" doesn't know how to share! Haha, love!