The Thirst for Money, and Something Different

It's 6:02am and I stand alone at a train terminal. I wait for the train that seldom comes in the wee morning hours. This is a stupid idea, I think over and over. I'm headed to yet another promotional gig for the launch of a new call phone. Train, teach, repeat. And then tonight they ship me off to Edmonton to do the same thing.

I am so over the promotional thing. I've told myself this many times over, and yet here I stand, waiting, showered and ready to go. Why? I miss the adventure that used to be my life. I miss hanging out and working hard and traveling. But on order to adventure, you need money, and in order to have money, you unfortunately have to work.

And so the circle closes. I sit on the train with the blue collared crowd. The dirty clothes and helmets replace the suits and blackberrys you normally see with the 9-5 scene. Hopefully this satisfies me, or at least distracts me for a bit.

Not in the Mood

I'm going through something that I don't know quite how to deal with at the moment. I pretend to indifferent. Neutral. Okay. But it's a tough time for me.

I wish I was angry so I could come on here and vent my fuken face off. Or maybe eventually I will distance myself and the whole thing will become comical. But as or right now, I'm shut down. I'm going out and I'm drinking and im distracting myself. But I'm not myself. So I don't know when you'll be getting any interesting blogs. Apologies in advance.

I Guess I Could Humour It.

You know what? I love love. I do. I just wish I was in love. People in love look so happy all the time, I mean, who wouldn't want that?

What I don't love, is the fact that everyone puts such a big hype on Valentines Day. As is some chocolates or flowers are that much more special on that day. Much like birthdays, when people are supposed to celebrate being alive and have a day for themselves, I feel like Valentines should be celebrated more than once a year. You should show your squeeze that you adore them all the time, randomly, spontaneously.

I've thought in the past about boycotting the "holiday". I've never even dated, so what's the harm, really? But then I thought about all the other random days I do part-take in. St. Paddy's, International Suit-Up Day, Canada Day, Steak & a Blowjob Day... and I figured, for a person who loves love so much, maybe having a day to celebrate Love isn't such a bad idea.

So I have my love tie on, and, yeah, well that's about as far as that goes. Other than that, the people I do care about, will receive random messages of love from me throughout the year. Because I still stand by the opinion that a pleasant surprise is always better than "expecting" something, and then being disappointed.

Birthday = disappointment
Christmas = disappointment
Valentines = disappointment

And that's what I get for building stuff up in my head. Woe is me.

"Work"

There's a lot of stressful things that people do for work. I don't usually partake in them though. Right now I'm getting paid for hanging out and playing with a pretty awesome phone that I have on loan. I'm complaining in my head about how much my legs hurt how bored I am, and how I could be doing the same thing from the comfort of my couch. When in reality, I should be stoked that I'm not actually doing any real work. If I get paid for doing nothing, the people that actually do stuff should be getting paid substantially more. And that in a nutshell is one of the reasons I love marketing. In the long run, maybe I'll accomplish more.

Routine

I have different contradicting thoughts when I think of having a routine. The idea of doing something relatively the same day after day, almost seems like a dreaded nightmare to me. I like to think that life should be ever-changing and spontaneous, rather than a constant obligation of for-seen circumstances. And yet everyone has a routine on their own. Dinner is at a certain time, you drink at the same watering hole with your core group of friends, and you visit the same theatre every Tuesday for a shitty movie.

Many people blame their mundane lifestyles on their "Responsibilities" or lack of funds; but I don't truly believe that they would escape if given the chance. If I grabbed you, saying that in an hour we're getting on a plane for an unexpected vacation, your work has already approved your leave, and all expenses are paid, I am quite certain that over 50% of the people I'd ask would still find a lame-ass excuse out of it.

The truth is that routine provides people with comfort, and the unknown can be a scary place.

I've worked in promotions the last couple of years. My job description is ever-changing and I'm never sure when or where my next paycheque is coming from. With the new year, i'm considering a full time office position for myself. But can a person with my recklessness really survive in a corporate environment? I've survived many a month bored out of my min and unemployed on the couch, so i don't see any reason for it to be an unrealistic notion. And even still, just the thought makes me want to run away for an impromptu adventure.